I'm not sure which numbers to report, so I will just show the first number (cm):
- R1: 1.24
- R2: 0.75
- R3: 0.86
- R4: 1.30
- L1: 0.93
- L2: 1.18
- L3: 0.55
- L4: 0.82
2/26/2008
Chicken Check
I had my first egg check (follicle check, actually). I feel like a chicken that is trying to produce eggs. I'm more along the lines of my last Repronex cycle (IVF#2) when I got pregnant. When the nurse left the room, I pressed the little 'Print' button and snagged myself a copy of the report.
I'm not sure which numbers to report, so I will just show the first number (cm):
I'm not sure which numbers to report, so I will just show the first number (cm):
2/25/2008
Feeling Hopeful
Tuesday morning is my first u/s to check for follicles. Oh, how I love the dildo cam. Does anyone else make sure they have a good trim/shave job for procedures?
I am hopeful that I've got some follies growing. During my last IVF cycle (#3), I was on Menapur and was very disappointed in the number of follicles. I sure hope that the Repronex and acupuncture are doing something for me.
I feel fat and bloated, so maybe my ovaries are growing and bursting with follies. Or, it may be the glass of chocolate milk that I had to have after my extra large burrito dinner.
I am hopeful that I've got some follies growing. During my last IVF cycle (#3), I was on Menapur and was very disappointed in the number of follicles. I sure hope that the Repronex and acupuncture are doing something for me.
I feel fat and bloated, so maybe my ovaries are growing and bursting with follies. Or, it may be the glass of chocolate milk that I had to have after my extra large burrito dinner.
2/24/2008
Am I Crazy?
I'm still wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life. I feel so misplaced, so disconnected. I have isolated myself and pulled into my shell. It makes me wonder how I will deal with being a mother if that should happen. Then, I think 'how ridiculous' to think that I would actually be a mother from this IVF cycle. Who do I think I am to expect a pregnancy that results in a healthy baby? The chances are practically nill.
The last time I had to go in for blood work at my RE's office, the 'good phlebotomist' asks me 'do they know why your embryos don't stick?'. Well, fuck me - because my god damn fucking eggs are rotted you bitch. Nothing like feeling like shit when going through this IVF hell. I can't wait for her to stick me again. And, the bitch gave me a black and blue.
I have enough doubt since my RE tells me that I have a 5% chance. How come I am in the 5% of people that have a failed tooth implant? Can I beat the percents? Whey do I think I can beat it? What would happen if I do? Just me and baby all alone, locked up in the house?
What the fuck am I doing? I'm on a quest, but I wonder if I have thought through everything.
Last year, I spent about $100,000 on extra expenses. This year, I am up to $100,000. I am being left in debt and without money. I'm worried that I may become pregnant and have a special needs baby.
On Tuesday, I go for my first follicle check since I started stims. What will it tell me? Of course, I am worried that I will hear 1 follicle on your left and none on your right. I'm really hopping that doing IM shots with Repronex will give me better stats than last time.
The last time I had to go in for blood work at my RE's office, the 'good phlebotomist' asks me 'do they know why your embryos don't stick?'. Well, fuck me - because my god damn fucking eggs are rotted you bitch. Nothing like feeling like shit when going through this IVF hell. I can't wait for her to stick me again. And, the bitch gave me a black and blue.
I have enough doubt since my RE tells me that I have a 5% chance. How come I am in the 5% of people that have a failed tooth implant? Can I beat the percents? Whey do I think I can beat it? What would happen if I do? Just me and baby all alone, locked up in the house?
What the fuck am I doing? I'm on a quest, but I wonder if I have thought through everything.
Last year, I spent about $100,000 on extra expenses. This year, I am up to $100,000. I am being left in debt and without money. I'm worried that I may become pregnant and have a special needs baby.
On Tuesday, I go for my first follicle check since I started stims. What will it tell me? Of course, I am worried that I will hear 1 follicle on your left and none on your right. I'm really hopping that doing IM shots with Repronex will give me better stats than last time.
2/23/2008
Here I Go, Again
It has been a long time. I have kept of the fertility boards and have kept to myself. The 'kept to myself' part is probably not good, but it is was I have been doing.
It took me a while, and I dragged my feet until I called my IVF nurse to get going. Of course I had to run through all the hoops:
Since I needed a quick physical, I made an appointment with the nurse instead of the doc. This nurse noticed a mole on my breast and made a note of it in my files. I have had this mole on my areola (flat, hairless) my whole life. It last changed shape at puberty when it got stretched. I was shocked when my IVF nurse called and told me they could not continue my cycle until I get the mole checked out by a dermatolgist. In a panic, I get an appointment with the PA (the doc would take months to see) . I was sure she would say 'OK' and fax a letter to my RE. Unfortunately, she thought there was a problem. I argued so much that she called in the doc (so, I got to see her anyway); the doc would not sign off either. I felt like I was forced to get a punch biopsy. They didn't hold me down, but if I didn't agree it was no IVF for me.
My mole measured 9 mm so she used the largest punch, 8 mm. The needles in my areola didn't hurt, especially when compared to the needles in my mouth for oral surgery. I have 1 internal deep stitch and 2 external. I was pissed that I have been disfigured. I hope that my nipple and ducts were not effected. I can't tell. Then I think, what does it matter unless I have a baby - how presumptuous of my to think I will have a baby suckling at my breast.
After the punch, I went to work. 3 hrs later - woa baby. The pain started. It was so bad that I took extra strength Tylenol (which I never do). It didn't do a fucking thing. My breast hurt for 2 days. Now (1 week later), the stitches are bothersome. I keep putting ointment on to keep it moist.
2008 IVF Calendar
It took me a while, and I dragged my feet until I called my IVF nurse to get going. Of course I had to run through all the hoops:
- Clomid challenge
- U/S check, blood work
- Annual physical, PAP, breast exam, mammogram
- communicables testing (STDs) - even though I haven't been with anyone
Since I needed a quick physical, I made an appointment with the nurse instead of the doc. This nurse noticed a mole on my breast and made a note of it in my files. I have had this mole on my areola (flat, hairless) my whole life. It last changed shape at puberty when it got stretched. I was shocked when my IVF nurse called and told me they could not continue my cycle until I get the mole checked out by a dermatolgist. In a panic, I get an appointment with the PA (the doc would take months to see) . I was sure she would say 'OK' and fax a letter to my RE. Unfortunately, she thought there was a problem. I argued so much that she called in the doc (so, I got to see her anyway); the doc would not sign off either. I felt like I was forced to get a punch biopsy. They didn't hold me down, but if I didn't agree it was no IVF for me.
My mole measured 9 mm so she used the largest punch, 8 mm. The needles in my areola didn't hurt, especially when compared to the needles in my mouth for oral surgery. I have 1 internal deep stitch and 2 external. I was pissed that I have been disfigured. I hope that my nipple and ducts were not effected. I can't tell. Then I think, what does it matter unless I have a baby - how presumptuous of my to think I will have a baby suckling at my breast.
After the punch, I went to work. 3 hrs later - woa baby. The pain started. It was so bad that I took extra strength Tylenol (which I never do). It didn't do a fucking thing. My breast hurt for 2 days. Now (1 week later), the stitches are bothersome. I keep putting ointment on to keep it moist.
2008 IVF Calendar
- 1/31 Menses
- 2/2 BCP
- 2/16 Last BCP
- 2/18 U/S check - clear, no cysts. Blood work
- 2/20 Start taking 20 units of Lupron each morning and night (12 hrs apart. I picked 8 am and 8 pm. I was also supposed to start taking Dexamethasone at night, but I though it was for ET and didn't start until 2/22. Continue on Lupron and Dex for rest of cycle
- 2/22 Begin stims: Repronex (2 amps morning) and GonalF (300 at night). Since the Repronex is injected intramuscular (IM), it is causing me problems. After watching many videos, reading blogs, and trying to run through the motions, I decided that I can not inject myself. My RE's office is far, far away but I have a sister who is a nurse. So, each morning, I drive myself to the ER of a local hospital and sneak in through the ambulance bay. I mix and she shoots (less than 5 minutes, probably 3 minutes)
- 3/4 Estimated ER
- 3/7 Estimate ET
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