4/06/2008

Head In Sand

I don't know what to do and I am still depressed. I'm in a "I don't give a fuck" eating mode, so I am not eating well. Woman eat like crap and get pregnant all the time. Why have I spent the past 2 years on an organic diet, and ate so many gross foods that I don't like - all in the name of fertility. What a waste.

Since I can't figure out what to do, I just try not to think about my future with/without child. Of course, my mother brings up the adoption issue, again. Apparently, if one is not successful with bearing a child then you must move down the adoption path. I'm just not ready for the adoption thing; maybe, I never will be.

Here is what I accomplished during my weekend of fertility failure:
  • Cleaned and sealed grout in the mud room
  • Pulled out the fridge and cleaned all that funky dust. Changed the fridge water filter
  • Unclogged the toilet
  • Changed the washers and springs on one of the sinks (to stop a drip)
  • Prepared the outdoor sprinklers for the summer by clearing out debris from each sprinkler head.
  • Fertilized the lawn
  • Turned on the sprinkler system and went through a cycle. Re-winterized the sprinkler system (it is supposed to snow later this week)
  • Shoveled out dirt and prepped ground for a large piece of flagstone (which I installed).
  • Fixed gate so it closes.
  • Shoveled rocks around to cover bare spots
  • Swabbed the outdoor deck (spray with water, swab, spray with water).
  • Took the outdoor chairs out of storage, used WD-40, and placed outside
  • Cleaned some of the house and did some laundry
  • Watered plants
  • And other little things......
I posted on a clinic's website and the doc wrote me back: "Don't make a decision without talking to me". I wrote about throwing in the towel and going the DE route. I guess I will call for a free consutlation. However, I need to prepare my paperwork so I am ready to talk (cycle info, blood results, etc)

I've been researching the DE route in Eastern Europe. A little scary, but I am started to warm up to the idea.

4 comments:

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Almamay said...

You sure get a lot done when you are down. I can barely leave the couch when I'm depressed and getting out of my night clothes is a major accomplishment. Hope your free consultation went well.

HeidiM said...

I'm on bed rest today and on a mission to visit blogs of all the people on Stirrup Queen's "Over 35" list.

If you decide to blog again, I'd love to hear about the DEs from Eastern Europe. DE will be my next thing if my current cycle doesn't work. Maybe it's cheaper overseas???

Anonymous said...

last few days our group held a similar talk about this topic and you show something we have not covered yet, thanks.

- Laura