2 Week Anniversary

OK, this isn't the type of anniversary that I want to remember, but I can't help but count the weeks. Why do I have to count each Friday as my miscarriage anniversary. It seems like a sick thing to do. But hey, I don't feel too good (on the mental front) so I will do what ever the hell I feel like doing.

I mustered up strength to get the mail, and I had a little surprise. A letter from my former partner's attorney. It is still so difficult to think of her as an "ex" or "former" anything. It is still difficult to believe that I am no longer with child. It was a draft lawsuit against me for not paying her for the house and furnishings.

Did she ever ask me for an amount? The answer is "No".

The next day, she called to ask me if I got the letter. I was told that she retained the attorney to help her come up with a number because she didn't know how to calculate what was owed to her. blah, blah blah. Her lies poured out into my ears while I think "I'm not pregnant anymore"....

I did manage to ask her about the numbers. I mean, she retained the attorney to help come up with numbers, but she paid him to frighten me with a draft lawsuit that didn't have a dollar amount anywhere. What bullshit. It was like a merri-go-round because she restated her reason for hiring an attorney. I may be emotionally devastated, but I can easily see that she did still did not produce a number for me.

After everything that I have done for her, after the way I treated her, after everything, I get this fucking lawsuit. Nothing like getting stabbed in the back and having the knife twisted when I'm at the lowest point in my life. She often told me that she thought me life was easy and that I didn't have any hardships. She would be angry when she was telling me this (I should have picked up on the clue that she was jealous and not a supportive partner).

Well, ain't you happy now. Lookey here, I am miserable. I'm having a hardship. I am depressed and can't get out of it. I am a zombie. I am a shell of a person. Happy now?