Another day, another thought

Another day in the TWO WEEK WAIT HELL

My thoughts range from

• I'm pregnant
• I'm having twins
• Shit, how am I going to raise twins as a single mother
• I'm not pregnant
• How could I even hope that I would be pregnant and carry to term
• I'm a loser, because I tried so hard to have a baby but couldn't do it
• I am barren

I may not POAS this time around, because this TWW is so much harder. I'm going to be devastated if I get a BFN.

I have a work trip to keep my mind off of things. We'll see if I can stop myself from going to a drug store and buying a stick to pee on.

SYMPTOMS
I said I wouldn't do this, that I wouldn't pay any attention to "symptoms" because they don't mean anything. I'm trying, but that little voice keeps pointing them out to me. This is the same voice that tells me that I'm not pregnant. Here it is:

1. Boobs are sore [I'm taking estrogen and progesterone - of course they are sore]
2. I'm eating a lot [I'm a pig, and/or the hormones in item#1 are the reason]
3. I felt lower, abdomen twinges today [probably gas or normal, minimal pain events]
4. Headache [duh, don't I always have headaches?]
5. Peeing more than normal [see item#1]
6. Constipated [is this any different from not going for 6 days after implant surgery?]