I have been in my expected, depressed state after hearing about my big fucking negative. I feel like I am in a deep fog and don't want to face life. Fortunately, life is socking my in the gut because I had to deal with the bitch's attorney. At least I am alive and feeling pain, sorrow, and sadness - how good it is to feel.
As I was getting the gray removed from my hair, I was reading the intellectual People magazine. It seems that Halle Berry is 3 months pregnant. I used to be 3 months pregnant. It made me feel badly to read the story. I'm 2 yrs old than she, will my rotted eggs ever produce a normal child?
My RE called me, yesterday. My cycle looked excellent on paper. Why, a 35 yrs old would have an 80% chance of achieving a pregnancy if she had 4 high quality embryos placed inside of her uterus. Since I got a bfn, then I probably had rotted eggs that would have resulted in an abnormal baby - hence, the natural selection of not getting pregnant. Well, my RE didn't quite put it in those words, but that is how I heard the news. Dr. RE will support me trying again, but wants to talk to me about donor eggs.
I am old
I have rotted eggs
Why should I expect a 43 yr old to get pregnant.
Why would a single woman get pregnant.
Why should I want anything
Why was I dumped
4 comments:
Are you feeling ok? I Know part of what you are going through as I've experienced IVF 4 times now. I'm only 32 with bad eggs, and the thought of a donor is just so hard to consider right now. I also saw the Halle Berry story and felt awful. I hope you have a friend to talk to.
I'm doing a blog roll check for Stirrup Queens and wanted to check in and see how you're doing.
I see you haven't posted in ages and to be honest, after reading your blog, I'm a little concerned! So, um, even if you don't feel like posting again, maybe you could let me know how you're doing...cuz holy crap, 2007 has not been your year by any stretch of the imagination.
I just checked my posts - sorry for not responding. I'm am feeling better and hopeful. I'm posting again.
Hey, how's it going? Any good news to share?
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