I am getting a bit agitated and having trouble going to sleep. My mind is starting to think about all of the "what ifs" that flood my life right now.

  • What if I get pregnant?
  • What if I get pregnant and have a m/c, again?
  • What if I get pregnant and have complications and can't travel for work?
  • How dare I even think about being pregnant
  • What if I am not pregnant? Can I get on with my life? I've been consumed with baby making since 2006. I will have to learn to live with myself.
I am still fat and bloated. My belly is sticking way out, but that is due to food excess and drugs. Time for the pussy pellet.

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