Distraught

Apparently, I only blog when distraught. I guess this is my way of trying to stay sane in the most troubling time of my life.

I just finished watching "Into the Wild". I had read the book a while ago, so I knew what would happen. When the movie was done, I was depressed and crying. Not so much about the movie (even though it did draaaag on for a long time), but about my life (or lack thereof). I am lonely. I am sad. I feel empty.

Haven't talked to the male relative since the last upsetting conversation. Guess who called today and I mistakenly answered the phone? Not as drunk last time, but heard the same thing:
- try again
- cursing at me
- god talk
- do what will make me happy

What will make me happy? Will be pregnant by myself and having a baby and being alone make me happy? Who the fuck knows. I sure don't.